No Sex Drive During Pregnancy

When a woman is pregnant, her sex drive can be unpredictable. Some women find that their libido goes through the roof when they are pregnant, while others seem to lose their desire to have sex all together. Both experiences are normal but having a low sex drive can be frustrating for a couple’s relationship.

There are a lot of reasons why a woman may have a low sex drive when she’s pregnant. It may be because she is more tired or feeling ill. Some women have difficulty adjusting to their new pregnant body and may feel unattractive or find sex itself is difficult. Finding comfortable positions may be challenging when you have a big belly in your way. Still, sometimes a woman really doesn’t know why she’s not interested. This may just be a result of hormonal changes.

Talk to your partner about how you are feeling. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex if it is not comfortable or pleasurable for you, but at the same time, it may be unfair to expect your partner to do without sex for unreasonably long periods. If there is a medical reason for abstaining from intercourse, this may be unavoidable but if your low sex drive is the only reason for not having sex with your partner, you should talk to him about it.

Sometimes it just takes longer to get in the mood. You may want to try things that help you relax and feel more sexual. Taking a warm bath, getting or giving a massage, going out on a romantic date, are all ideas that may help you feel more attractive, sexual and more in the mood. Some women may struggle with a low sex drive through their entire pregnancy and find that nothing really works to overcome this. The best thing a woman can do is communicate with her partner to find ways to work around this.

Sex During Pregnancy – The Myths Exposed

There are so many myths about sex during pregnancy that my partner and I decided to write an article to give you the absolute 100% truth about this tricky subject. And you know what? The amazing thing is it turned out to be quite straightforward. All those old wives tales turned out to be just that – fallacies, myths, superstitions, and simple downright lies.

So just why is there so much confusion about sex during pregnancy? I think the answer lies in the fact that Western society gets confused when it tries to deal with the idea of a woman as a mother, and the idea of a woman as a sexual being. We venerate motherhood, but there is still one heck of a double standard around the idea of a woman as a sexual being, possibly with as high a level of sexual desire and enthusiasm for sex as a man. So that’s the first thing you have to get out of your head: that sex when you’re pregnant is somehow wrong, disrespectful to the baby, or inappropriate in some other way. Here’s the reality – sex during pregnancy is a great thing for both the man, his partner, and the baby!

You might be wondering why sex at this very special time is good for the baby. There are a couple of reasons. First, sex reinforces the bonds between the mother-to-be and her partner, ensuring that their relationship is strong, healthy and intimate. This produces a good environment for the baby after he or she is born. Secondly, when a woman has an orgasm, she produces large amounts of endorphins and bliss hormones which circulate in her bloodstream and inevitably produce the same sense of relaxation and contentment for the baby as they do for the mother.

But unfortunately a lot of women seem to believe that their partner will not find them attractive as they grow larger during their pregnancy. The reality is rather different! Many men find a pregnant woman extremely sensuous and attractive, a fact which is hardly surprising when you consider that a woman is expressing the deepest level of her femininity when she’s pregnant. Not only that, but many women experience a great surge in sexual desire during their pregnancy because of the changing levels of hormones in their bloodstream – and a woman who wants sex and other high level of libido is very arousing to a man. All in all, it’s a recipe for some of the best sex that you can have.

A lot of women actually find that they experience orgasms differently when they’re pregnant: they may, for example, actually experience orgasms for the first time if they’ve previously been anorgasmic. And women who’ve always been able to enjoy orgasms may find they can reach orgasm more easily, or that they experience multiple orgasms for the first time. All of this is very exciting, and adds a whole new dimension to the sexual relationship between a man and his partner. When you consider that many women feel they’ve moved fully into their sexuality, partly because of their body growing more feminine and their breasts enlarging as they prepare to nurture their baby after it’s been born, and partly because in some deep way their function as a woman is now being fulfilled, it’s hardly surprising that the expression of sex within a relationship is good be a little bit unpredictable during pregnancy.

Another of the pernicious myths about sex during pregnancy is that it can harm the baby. This is completely untrue in the vast majority of normal pregnancies. For one thing the baby is well protected in its amniotic sac, a bag full of fluid which protects it like a shock absorber, as well as by the strong muscular walls of the womb. And since a thick mucus plug seals the cervix so that neither bacteria nor semen can enter the uterus during sexual intercourse, there is no danger from making love as the baby grows inside its mother. The only cases in which sex during pregnancy is not recommended are where there is something slightly unusual about the pregnancy: perhaps this been persistent vaginal bleeding, or the mother has high blood pressure, or the placenta is located very close to the cervix, or the woman has a history of miscarriages. Each of these cases your doctor or midwife will tell you about the dangers of sex during pregnancy. In these cases you might want to use some alternative method of relieving sexual tension such as oral pleasure, solo masturbation, or mutual masturbation.

If the majority of pregnancies proceed normally, and sex is perfectly acceptable, why would there be a myth that sex during pregnancy can harm the baby? Well, you have to use a certain amount of common sense here. Clearly, making love in the man on top position with the man lying on the woman’s abdomen is a bad idea because it can be very uncomfortable that the mother and it also does put extra weight on the baby. By the way, some experts recommend that a pregnant woman does not sleep on her back, but there’s no harm in her lying down for as long as it takes to make love. Another silly fantasy that has sprung up over the years is that sex can induce labour, either during thrusting or during orgasm. In fact, although woman will feel some small uterine contractions when she reaches orgasm, the sensations are quite different to those that she will experience when she gives birth, when the uterus is contracting during labour.

Another old wives’ tale is that if a baby is overdue, making love will induce labour because the man’s semen contains a hormone which stimulates uterine contractions. However it turns out that there’s absolutely no evidence whatsoever that semen stimulates uterine contractions and the onset of labour.

Now, so far we’ve been talking very positively, as though all couples want to make love during pregnancy, but that certainly isn’t the case. A woman may feel so unattractive that she simply doesn’t want to make love, and regrettably some men do find it impossible to make love with their pregnant partners, simply because they don’t find the idea attractive. In such cases, there are plenty of other things that can reinforce a couple’s relationship, including snuggling, kissing, cuddling, stroking, mutual massage, oral pleasure and masturbation. There’s absolutely no need whatsoever for either partner within a couple to be deprived of sexual pleasure if the other one isn’t keen on intercourse.

All in all you can have just as good a sex life during pregnancy as you did beforehand, and just as good as hopefully you will after the baby is born. The myths that have grown up around the subject need to be dispelled, not only for the sake of every pregnant couple’s happiness, but also because sex is a fundamental human need at every point in an individual’s life, and as we observed above, when a mother has an orgasm, the baby benefits from the blissful state she enjoys.

Sex Education For Minors

Here is how it was when I was a kid. We learned about sex in school, in church, and of course, in our neighborhoods. Some kids had little comic books with hard-porn sex illustrations. I can only speak for the boys. I started to hear of sexual experiences from boys when I was in elementary school. Most of them were not true but we liked to hear them and live them vicariously.

We had little experience with girls but boys have an interest in girl’s anatomy when they are very young, barely out of kindergarten, and they will try to explore their interest perhaps asking a girl to show her private parts.

Masturbation was common, speaking only for the boys. Group masturbation or “speed” contests occurred. There were occasional homosexual acts. Some boys began having sexual intercourse when in their early teens. These were called, “bad kids.”

When I was about 12, my father took me on a 20 mile hike telling me about the birds and the bees. He mainly told me horror stories about masturbation. I really didn’t know what he was talking about. I was much more interested in the old pits used for catching black bears, the snakes, and the fact that my father knew all the wild flowers by name. The most interesting thing was his story about the bear trainer who was sparing with a black bear who took only one swing at the man. He was knocked out for several days, more like a week.

Later a doctor was brought to the church to talk to the boys about masturbation. To say the least, we all had a great interest in the subject. Again, I was one of the youngest boys and got into a fit of the giggles. So did a couple of other boys. It was all new to us!

I might add that not all boys took up masturbation, just most of them.

Some boys had wet dreams. These were often told in detail. One boy had a dream where his ROTC instructor was really a woman in disguise. That way his admiration for the instructor and his desire for sex were satisfied in one swell scoop.

Sex was “totally revealed” in junior high school and high school but not in the classroom. We were now associating with girls and we played such games as “Post Office.” We often mentioned the game “Pony Express,” which was said to be “Post Office with a little more horsing around.”

In “Spin the Bottle” or “Post Office” the reward was to go into a dark bedroom with a girl and receive a kiss. I don’t remember how the game of “Post Office” was played but I remember “Spin the Bottle,” a game we had played when we were tiny kids.

Some boys were now dating, Many of us were not.

So that is how we got our education. I remember a short morality lecture in my high school gym class, but that was it.

The fact of the matter is that we never had any in-depth sex education.

Sexual Codes

I don’t think that in nature there is a code of conduct in regard to sexuality. Other primates have their own ideas. Some are very promiscuous to prevent confrontations. Others are more discrete, the males vigorously guarding their harem. This occurs with many other animal species.

Young animals are not always safe from adult males. If a female will come into heat, or estrus, if her young are killed, the young are in grave danger. Male lions are known for this behavior. The reasoning given by those who study such critters is that they must spread their DNA quickly or lose the chance to other marauding males. I think they know nothing of such talk. They just want sex.

A Zulu chief once said that clothing led to promiscuity, not nudity. When everyone is nude, nobody has a question about the anatomy of males and females. Some male children are bathed with their mother when very young and know about her. But most children know little of the opposite sex’s anatomy.

Now days, because of television, children are exposed to nudity and sex. Actually, you can not see sex organs of a woman when she is nude. You see some pubic hair maybe, but not anything else. Television and movies until recently did not show the sex organs of men. Well, now you see that.

I suppose that hard porn leaves nothing to the imagination. That is something that I have stayed away from. Well, when I was a kid, a friend freshly home from the navy, showed me some pics he bought in the Philippians. Such images tend to stick in the mind.

Part of our problem is that we paint sex as wicked rather than as natural as scratching your nose. In some societies, teenagers are left to their whims, that is if we have not killed those societies off, they take off from the community and have sex. Fidelity comes only after marriage. Such societies simply face the facts and they don’t have our problems. Babies come and, in at least the Amazon, they come from the Man in the Moon. Nasty fellow!

Some societies think that a stranger needs food, water, warmth, shelter and sex. They are know to share their wives with guest. You must travel north to see that but is all existent in other societies. We call those “Primitive Societies.”

Some northern climes seem to promote sexual laxity.

I think that in most civilizedcommunities, sex education in schools is mandatory. Abstinence before marriage is often promoted and that works for many teenagers. The complaint here is that the emphasis may be “too much” on condoms and pregnancy prevention rather than local moral issues.

Here are my opinions for what they are worth:

Teaching in the Home

I asked my wife when she taught our children about modesty. She said when they start dressing themselves. In out society we often judge people by how they dress. We can teach our children to be modest and we can teach them about clothing and how it looks to others.

I asked her about how she taught other issues of sex to our children. She said that I taught the “hard stuff.” I told he that I couldn’t remember doing it but she said I did. It must have been during our Monday night family meetings when we taught a lesson, played games, and had refreshments. Based on that, I assume I taught the tenets of our church. So, maybe that is how you can teach your children at home. Spend on evening with them each week and teach them a lesson, have some fun, eat, and plan out the schedule for the week so everyone will know how the twins are getting to soccer practice and how Mary will get to her piano lesson.

I never taught any details of sex. We taught it belongs in marriaige and that is a binding force between couples and brings children into the home.

Teaching in Religious Organizations

If your religion has youth groups, that may be a good place to teach kids about ethics and moral conduct. Our church has the young men and young women separated most of the time. That leads to an opportunity to teaching specifics. One leader taught that the boys have a little “machine” inside them that brings on wet dreams occasionally and to leave it at that. One said that masturbation is stupid. The boys are not to masturbate but to be morally clean so they can represent the church throughout the world.

Teaching in Schools

I think sex topics should be taught early and often. In the early years, specifics of anatomy and reproduction could be taught. As children get older, they can be taught about sexually transmitted diseases such as was once taught in the military, the risks, the dangers, and prevention. The old military films showed some awful results of gonorrhea and syphilis. They showed male parts falling off and a soldier causing his wife to give birth to a blind child due to his gonorrhea. When I was in the army, the thinking was changed and replaced with morality training.

I think that sexual norms can be taught, helping students learn what is expected by them in society. Fidelity should be emphasized. Why? Because a person who is promiscuous before marriage may be apt to be unfaithful after marriage. That leads to much sorrow, legal problems, financial problems, and trauma to parents and children. This however, I understand, is not true in some parts of New Guinea. Fidelity usually works there despite premarital infidelity.

Premarital Counseling

I think a lot of misunderstanding and problems between newly weds could be removed by premarital counseling. Men can be very naive about a women, her needs, her concerns, and her anatomy. I realize that with time, things will come together but it would be better if these things were taught sooner. There are still many newly weds who are not experienced in sexual matters.

Unfortunately, there are many adults who have been married for some years who don’t know what should be going on. That is why we have so many sex clinics.

A knowledgeable family doctor can give good advice to brides and grooms.

Fly Old Glory!